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May 04, 2021
2 min read
Parenting can be challenging.
With a strong-willed child, even the most patient parent will yell.
It’s loud… gets attention… and shocking.
Especially when it doesn’t happen often.
The question is...
Does this let your kids know who’s in control?
I don’t think so.
The truth is…
It doesn’t make you look authoritative.
You see, yelling, even more than spanking is the response of a person who doesn’t know what else to do and makes you look out of control and look weak to your kids.
After you yell at your child, what happens?
Does it stop the behavior? How do you feel after yelling?
In today’s article, we’ll be talking about alternatives to yelling. And believe it or not, it’s just as simple as ABC.
There 2 ways to use this ABC method.
A = Antecedent
First, know what comes before the undesirable behavior.
B = Behavior
Second, you should identify the negative behavior you wish to change.
C = Consequence
Lastly, the consequences of the behavior or what happens after it.
Take note: Sometimes the antecedent and consequence are very revealing.
To shape positive behavior to your child, the first thing to know is what happens right before your child does as you ask or is expected of them?
Secondly, you must clearly identify the positive behavior.
C = Consequence.
And then lastly, you should think of ways how the child is rewarded or praised.
So instead of yelling at your kid when your kitchen is all dirty and untidy with all piled unwashed dishes.
Make sure when you come to your kitchen you clean everything or you may put a dishwasher magnet clean dirty signs for them to know that you leave it clean.
And when your child puts his own used utensils and cleans the kitchen on their own, tell him that he did a great job and then hug him.
Sounds all great, right?
But it takes work and planning.
You can sit down and talk to older children about the ABCs and identify the antecedents, behaviors, and consequences.
If you’re going to nag your children about regularly. Make a list.
Start with just one of the most irksome things that are easily fixable.
Talk to your child. Tell them the behavior you want to replace and model the behavior yourself.
Be aware of how antecedents can trigger negative behavior.
As parents, remember that reinforcing the behavior we want to change… takes time, reflection, and effort.
So if you lose it and yell, apologize after you have calmed down.
Be an example as a parent how to say you are sorry with genuine emotion.
Parents aren’t perfect. Yes, we make mistakes, but there are tools to help us.
Does this something help you as a parent in any way? Let us know in the comment box below. =)
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